Take It Easy

Came across this video – ‘Always #LikeAGirl.’ Loved it. Thought of sharing it here. It’s been viewed over thirteen million times and has gone viral. The makers of the video say,”Boys and girls are told different things growing up, but the overriding message is clear: ideological masculinity is to be aimed for, and ideological femininity (AKA acting ‘like a girl’) is to be avoided at all costs.” This is exactly why a video like this is important. It shouts out loud that the words ,”Like a Girl” are not an insult because being a girl is not an insult in the first place. High time people get that.

Interesting thing is that just when i was wondering if i could somehow access another video , made with the same sentiment but with respect to boys, i found another one entitled – ‘The Mask You Live In.’ This video makes us ponder that are we as a society failing our boys since we put on them a lot of pressure to conform to a set standard , we call ‘masculinity. ‘Emotional stoicism ain’t good for them. When will we learn to just ‘let them be’ and not propagate a skewed definition of masculinity? If we need a better society to live in, we’ve got to start teaching our children better.

It’s good to make more videos like these . Videos that are a part of a social experiment and which fight the gender stereotype. I really appreciate individuals putting stuff like this out there for all of us to watch. Things like these make us realize that we should not be speaking, behaving or even feeling in a certain way just for validation from people. It puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on us.
It’s time we RESPECT THE DIFFERENCES between genders and then celebrate them.

C’mon people, spare a few minutes and WATCH these videos NOW.

From The Heart Of A Child :(

The last thing a 3-year-old Syrian said before he died: “I’m gonna tell God everything” :(

I happened to come across this picture on Twitter today and I haven’t been able to be at peace ever since. It just breaks my heart. It’s a picture about pain and suffering of a 3 year old boy who became a part of religious intolerance in Syria. This boy’s last words before dying were, “I am gonna tell God everything”. :(

The child’s deeply touching words and the sentiment behind those words presents such a deprave situation of the world. These words make your eyes water and makes your heart so heavy. Is this the world we are living in ? The child wants to make an appeal to the Almighty to ‘punish’ the people who hurt him so inhumanly. If this is what a 3 year old is subjected to, what the hell are we doing ? Are we still humans or have turned into beasts ? It really is a sad state of affairs.

When will religious bigots realize that war kills not just humans but also their humanity. The kid in the picture could have been anybody’s child from any nation. What is religious intolerance and fundamentalism doing to this world ? Can we ever say that there are any real winners? No one’s winning here. In fact there can NEVER be any winners in war. The world at large loses because humanity loses. If some fanatics feel superior that they won a war by ‘controlling’ a region and killing innocent lives in the name of religion, it’s time they make sure that they still are in human form and have not turned into beasts !!

Who Destroyed the ‘Cradle of Civilization’ ?

Once upon a time, there was a country which was known as the ‘Cradle of Civilization’. A country whose civilization flourished long before those of Greece & Rome. A country so beautiful that the Hellenes would have blushed. A country , that despite being mostly arid was bountiful with vegetation, good weather, abundant wildlife, and water resources. A country with a far more literate population than the surrounding countries of the middle-east. A country which gave to the world inventions like the first accurate calendar, the wheel, maps and most importantly the first schools. A country where women had traditionally more freedom than their counterparts elsewhere in the region. A country that is home to the world’s second largest oil reserves. Lastly, a country that is now unfortunately burning in flames with millions of lives lost and thousand others rendered homeless. I’m referring here to the Republic of Iraq .


The world at large has always seemed interested in Iraq especially, the United States ( All thanks to the Iraq’s rich oil reserves which have the potential to make its leaders extremely powerful ). U.S has intervened in the past and there is now a possibility of a third intervention. The current situation in Iraq can prove deadly for a lot of countries including the United States. It’s ethnic and sectarian divisions have deepened even more this time. Plus its neighbourhood comprising Syria is not doing well itself. If US intervenes this time, it might end the fanatics but not the fanaticism of the region. Last time US did defeat the Al Qaida forces in the region but didn’t destroy them and today the entire region is witnessing a dangerous uprising because of a lethal terrorist organization called the ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant) which is horrifically violent. ISIS was basically a part of Al Qaida group but became much more powerful after Laden’s death, and today it’s the wealthiest and the most deadly terrorist outfit in the world.


I personally feel, had the George. W. Bush administration not attacked Iraq in 2003 in search of ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction’ (which were never found by the way because there were none and this was a fact confirmed by the top Intelligence agencies of the world) Iraq would be in a much better spot today. As for Saddam Hussein, he would have made sure that terrorist groups like ISIS don’t take over Iraq. What was the whole point of being at war with Iraq and capturing its leader, when the situation now is even more grave ? It amazes me as to how an organization like ISIS became so powerful when all this while the US forces were in Iraq? Iraq had its problems even before the US intervened but the country was still liberal in a lot of ways. Now the radical groups from Saudi and other adjacent countries have taken over and the ISIS wants Iraq to become an Islamic state. The invasion of Iraq was completely erroneous and the political advisors of the Bush administration were misguided. I agree that the Bush government did get rid of a tyrant dictator but it also killed way more innocent people than even Saddam Hussein killed. People were killed in the name of insurgents, when in actuality they were innocent women and children. The public mind in USA was brainwashed, convincing people that it’s a war on terror  a retribution for 9/11 and that invading Iraq was in the best interest of the world. But the question is was it ?


I mean the US government that time fooled its people and the world, claiming that Iraq is under the rule of an unstable and dangerous leader so an invasion is the need of the hour. I’m going to give a case here of an exactly similar leader. But I can vouch neither the US nor the rest of the world will dare touch either him or his nation. I’m referring here about North Korea and its supreme leader Kim Jong un. Try doing it to them and the repercussions would be fatal. Thank goodness that North Korea doesn’t have oil , otherwise there was just no stopping that nation.  Anyway, my point is that the entire exercise of the Bush government attacking Iraq is rendered moot since an extremely beautiful and prosperous nation has over the years turned into an absolute disaster. A civil war can break down any moment now. There are people from various nations either trapped, abducted or executed. There are children who might have otherwise been intellectually and creatively curious but are now orphaned. There are women who once enjoyed a liberal atmosphere where they could educate themselves and make progress but are now either killed or trafficked into prostitution. There are men who should have been busy working a livelihood for their folks but are now being mass executed right in front of their families. Lastly, there is the youth who should have been watching the FIFA World Cup right now ( since football is extremely popular in Iraq) but are now holding arms and ammunition.


Saddam Hussein might have been the craziest of leaders but the man knew the geopolitics of Iraq. He was the impetus behind turning Iraq from a mere Arab nation to the most advanced Arab country in history. Iraq was always better than its neighbours. Healthcare facilities were excellent. Education was imparted right from the primary level up to the university, completely free of charge. Iraq was a nation where more human rights were granted to its citizens than any other Arab nation, especially in the areas of religion and liberation of women. The New York Times had thus, once called Baghdad “The Paris of the Middle East. Toppling Saddam Hussein was the biggest misstep US committed and now Iraq has to face people, I call pre-historic barbarians . I’d never thought a day would come when I’d have to support a man like Saddam Hussein over President Bush. Sometimes, I feel that the biggest Weapon of Mass Destruction in Iraq was Mr. President himself.

The day Saddam was caught President Bush had said, ” the world will be better off without you, Mr. Hussein.” Today Iraq has gone worse, and so has the world. :(


Comic Strip – Nope ! This One’s a Piece of Art !!

“Life’s too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who’s got an idea how i ought to be. I don’t need advice. Everyone can stay out of my face. Resolutions? Me ? Just what are you implying? That i need to change? Well buddy as far as i’m concerned, I’m perfect the way i am ” :D

Now this is exactly what i believe. But these are not my lines. These lines are from a hugely famous comic strip – ‘Calvin and Hobbes’, which have me literally glued to them these days. I’ve not really been a fan of comics, not even when i was a child. However recently, i happened to go through a few  ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ comic strips and I loved them. Just loved them.  

Calvin is a six year old boy (he does grow as the series proceeds). He’s a smart kid. In fact way smarter than his age. Hobbes is his beloved tiger friend and as i see it, represents Calvin’s conscience. Personally, its easy for me to identify with Calvin who constantly feels out of sync with the rest of the world, and thus retreating to the world he creates for himself in his mind. Calvin  truly expresses the idea that even without being preachy, priggish and mushy, it’s  okay to be different.  It’s exhilarating to see a comic strip that gives a subtle message about the world around.  

‘Calvin and Hobbes’ is not just a comic strip replete with third degree jokes. It’s a piece of art and it’s creator – Bill Watterson is the ingenious artist.

No More Lies, No More Masquerades

It’s a strange world we live in. A world where people feel it’s their religion to deceive and hurt others. A world where some people have the wrong idea that they can deceive anyone. Little do those weirdos know that lying isn’t about imposing a false truth on someone they think is naïve. It’s about deceiving your own god damn self.

It hurts initially when people close to you indulge in acts that are deprave. That is the first stage of lying. I call it – ‘There’s Still Hope’ . The stage where it gets hurtful to the core but you still have hope that things will become better. You wait because you’re hopeful of change. Then there comes the phase of providing second chances to them , hoping that they will learn from mistakes they did and will uplift themselves. I’ll name this one the , ‘ Everybody Deserves a Second Chance’ stage. I mean nobody is perfect so everyone should be given another chance. Then, there’s the unforgivable phase I call ,’Beyond Redemption’ where the people you give chances to  improve, people you truly trust continue to deceive and lie behind your back and to your face. But eventually, they’re caught. Actually you always knew they were lying but you thought someday those people will have the spine to confess. But oops, they’re spineless. Finally arrives the last stage . Lets call it – ,’ Letting Go of Bullshit’ – where you finally realize that some people have chosen to deceive and never redeem themselves ( Ironically they do redeem in life but it’s gets too late ).

The craziest part about liars and deceivers is that when they are caught, they’ll try hard putting all their blame on you. They work on a philosophy of ,”If you can’t tell them the truth , confuse them.” ‘Them’ here implying the people being deceived. Also, they are not really sorry that they lied ( since they think of a hundred excuses to dodge the situation), they feel sorry for being caught. And that is the time, when you clear the notions in your head about such people, think straight and think rationally. You understand completely that the person ‘trying’ to deceive doesn’t give squat to what you feel or think. That feeling you sink in at that moment hurts you deep down . But that is it because the moment that feeling is over , you stand up with your head held high, enduring the hardest situations . From there on, you look only forward because the best thing you  had all along and will continue to have is a crystal clear conscious. It amazes you as to how you could recover yourself so soon but you figure out the reason – The journey has made you rock solid. It has made you so strong that petty people don’t affect you anymore. You wanna laugh it off in their face , perhaps saying , ” What did you think you wretched being ? You thought you were a smart ass? Truth is you’re an ass and I was smart. I still am.” And so you shrug off and surprisingly thank the people who deceived you, for showing you how much better you are than you thought yourself to be. How much character you have inside you which never let you lose your dignity and more than anything else how much you’ve grown in the entire journey. Tough times give you the pain but it is that affliction which leaves you way more healthy than it found you.

That smile never fades off your face again because you know that the bumps along the road have made you steadfast. They’ve made you love yourself so much more. They’ve made you ready to rise from that point onwards since only the ‘light weighted’ people rise up since rising up requires  a clear heart, a clear soul and a clear conscious. Malice , deception, lying ,  ill feelings make a person recede backwards in life. Makes the person’s soul so ‘heavy’ that rising is impossible. So, stay light. Don’t let that conscious die and stop chasing deceivers because the best people in your life , who consider you worthy enough of being a part of their lives will always catch up. I can vouch for that.



Elliot Rodger – A Symptom Of A Society So Morally Warped

Last Week, a guy identified by the cops as Elliot Rodger – allegedly seeking ‘retribution’ against women whom he said, sexually rejected him, went on a killing spree in Isla Vista, California. He shot six people dead and injured seven others who are now in the hospital with severe gunshot injuries. Before the mass murder, 22-year-old Rodger uploaded several YouTube videos in which he is virulently ranting that he was a virgin and that beautiful women wouldn’t pay attention to him. The videos have now been removed by Google for violating YouTube’s guidelines that prohibit predatory behavior, stalking and threats. He also had written a 140 page long manifesto which the cops have recovered from his apartment. He titled it – ‘My Twisted World’ where his wish was to ‘“round up all the world’s women into concentration camps and exterminate them.” According to his folks, Rodger was seeking psychiatric treatment. Now to dismiss this as ‘only’ a case of a deranged, a lunatic or a ‘crazy’ man would be a mistake. It will gloss over the role that misogyny plays in a sexist society. After all, while it is unclear what role Rodger’s reportedly poor mental health played in the alleged crime, the role of misogyny is obvious.

Elliot Rodger was every bit the same as  other men who feel they have been ‘unfairly’ treated by women and are hence victims. They hold onto a sort of bitterness against society and women in particular (Irony is they never feel that maybe the rejection happens not because all women are bitches but because people like him try too hard to find validation from the opposite sex. They are needy. It doesn’t occur to them that their self worth cannot be associated with another person). These men are the same fellows who threaten women both online and in person with an excessively strong desire and need to control them. Men who feel that women owe them sexual gratification and submission. Sadly, they rack their brains out in aiming to do so and eventually ruin themselves. This is quite obvious in the Elliot Rodger case. When I was going through some of the videos which he had uploaded, it really bothered me that what is he scoffing that ‘evil’ laughter for? What was he thinking? Why so much disdain for humanity? The videos are extremely annoying. Besides the creepy grin, his reasoning and ranting was immature to the point of being obnoxious, and it is very sad that innocent people  have died at the hand of a spurned boy because they ‘did’ happen to have lives. How in the world did a 22 year old get the idea that society owes him anything? How did he expect that women will be available to him (as if women are dogs)?  And how did he feel that he “is the ultimate alpha male” to whom women must comply? In his last uploaded video, which he had named ‘The Retribution Video’, his thoughts are deplorable. Here are excerpts of what he has spoken there –

“…Tomorrow is the day of retribution, the day in which I will have my revenge against humanity, against all of you. For the last eight years of my life, ever since I hit puberty, I’ve been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection and unfulfilled desires all because girls have never been attracted to me. Girls gave their affection, and sex and love to other men but never to me…You girls have never been attracted to me. I don’t know why you girls aren’t attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it. It’s an injustice, a crime… You will finally see that I am in truth the superior one. The true alpha male. (laughs) Yes. After I’ve annihilated every single girl in the sorority house, I will take to the streets of Isla Vista and slay every single person I see there. Well now I will be a god compared to you. You will all be animals. You are animals and I will slaughter you like animals. And I will be a god. If I can’t have you, girls, I will destroy you.

It’s like he tried to put the entire blame of his wretchedness on the opposite sex and also on men who in his view were more attractive to women. Talking about wretchedness. Was he wretched and ‘deprived’ at all as he claims in his videos?His father, an assistant director on “The Hunger Games” bought him a black BMW 328i, worth about $40,000, regularly flew him wherever he wanted to go first class on Virgin Airlines, and paid for him to attend a “private” Katy Perry concert. Yet Rodger still posted videos online complaining about how ‘deprived ‘and ‘unfair’ his life was. Sad that he did not have any sense of gratitude for how privileged he was. It really is pathetic the frame of mind he was in since strangely enough the only thing that did not occur to him was to have a little more self esteem. It did not occur to him that maybe the reason of women distancing from him, in the first place was because of his own pettiness.

Elliot Rodger was reportedly involved with the online ‘men’s rights movement’ and said to have been following several men’s rights channels ( If only the Men’s Rights Movement was actually a movement for men’s rights and not for bashing and abusing women). The language Rodger used in his videos against women like referring to himself as an ‘alpha male’ is common rhetoric in such circles. The MRM is in direct conflict with Feminism (This became apparent when some of the MRM activists had hounded my blog after I wrote – Does the F Word Scare You?) The conflict stems from the basic tenet that Feminism propounds namely that a woman has the right to say NO. A man can never be entitled to a woman unless she has her consent. Misogynists are not loners. They are not created in isolation. They are products of a society which instead of providing solutions reinforces the patriarchal stereotypes even more. In Rodgers’ case the MRM activists have played a pathetic role and have now very conveniently distanced themselves from the massacre.

Elliot Rodgers was a victim of mental illness but that illness could have been cured. What was more dangerous and what could ultimately not be cured here was the social malaise that created him. Rodgers was envy writ large. The envy inside him killed him, that too in a manner where not many people will sympathize with him even after his death. In fact people will abhor him. H killed 6 innocent people. Hence destroyed 6 families.  His attitude is a a symptom of a culture, a society gone terribly wrong. A culture that condemns a woman to be a ‘slut’ , a ‘bitch’ if she turns down the advances of a man. A culture that gives a sense of entitlement to men like Rodger which is sickening. A culture that propagates that women owe men something. A culture that forces men to be defined by the number of sexual relationships they have had and a culture where not treating women with respect is okay. It shocks me to think that a 22 year old had lost all hope. If only he had realized in time that if he focused properly on himself, developing interests, and skills, and pursuing career ambitions, he would feel content with himself. He would have been comfortable in his own skin and would have not felt the need to be defined by a woman. After all one does not need to get into a girl’s pants to prove he is a man. All he needs is a little self worth which helps him to ‘not’ feel emasculated even if he doesn’t have women in his life and to ‘not’ be threatened if he has a woman in his life. How difficult is that to sink in?

I’d also like to add here that right after the homicide, Twitter started trending the hash tag  #YesAllWomen and some of the reactions , especially the ones coming from MRM forums are abominable as the crime itself.


(Zoom the screen shot and read carefully) .

This kind of  reaction, a backlash happens when there exists in society some male voices that demand the female voices to be silenced. The voices that expects from women a , “look pretty and shut up” sort of an attitude. The voices that belong to a society where ,”I have  a boyfriend” somehow becomes more revered and respected than ‘”Don’t touch me.” A society where in the inside space of a club , men are expected to put their hands on women and women because of wearing makeup and dresses , are expected to feel flattered. A society that teaches how to not get raped than to not rape in the first place. All this makes me question that isn’t this a crime driven by a socially provoked mental state? Are we really that progressive a society or oppressed as ever, just shrouded behind Instagram filters and false shows of equality. I feel one would be foolish to think that gender equality exists and even bigger a fool to think that feminism is not as vital as it was a century ago. If we are unable to cater to the misogynist mindsets even after a case like Elliot Rodgers, then be prepared to face ‘murderphiles’ and hate crimes commited by them being reported in every part of the world in the near future. The only difference will be in the use of acids, knives and machetes instead of guns. Will hold true from the part of the world I come from.

P.S – Any MRM activist who wants to comment on my post is welcome ONLY if you can produce a rational argument. Abuse in any form will only make sure that your comment is shown its way to the spam folder!




Flush Out The Most Dangerous Toxin Of All – Negativity

Energy is the single most important force that constitutes the universe and therefore, also the human existence. For me, energy symbolizes efficiency, ardor, vitality, potency and more than anything else – spirit. The gigantic universe that we all are a part of, consists of light and dark matter. In the same way our lives comprise of people – both positive and negative. Either way, they have an impact on us. Interesting thing is that people can lie, manipulate their ugly intentions with welcoming actions, can indulge in sugar coated sweet talk even though malice is what is inside them and yet their vibes don’t lie. Just don’t.  People may deceive us but their vibes don’t.

I recently came across this really interesting term – ‘Energy Vampires.’ What it signifies is people who can be synonymous to vampires in draining you, except that they don’t drain out blood, they drain out your ‘chi’ or positive life energy.  They suck the life force out of you. They are envious of the little things that might not even hold any importance to you.  The way you talk, the way you carry yourself, the way you think – they get envious of everything. In short, your overall persona is what makes them cringe.  Now the problem is that somehow they don’t uplift themselves from their own ‘set ways’ but try their level best to bring you down. Their problem is not their own despair but your happiness.  Such people, in my view are indulging in the worst form of human existence. They somehow are unable to channelize the envy they posses as a factor in motivating them to do better (since you cannot pull people backwards, you can push yourself forward). Instead they will litter it around to do harm to you. Worst part is that it isn’t as if they harm you physically (although that can happen too). The mere thought of you doing well elicits from them such a strong force of negativity, that you actually feel it. It harms you in every way and even though a lot of people may theorize that don’t let such people get to you, it takes time to build that endurance. Mean while these ‘Energy Vampires’ wreak havoc in your lives – emotionally, mentally, psychologically and even anatomically.  These EV’S as I call them, cringe, take offence and are full of pitch black envy at things that you might want to laugh at. I mean right from posting a lovely picture on Facebook to, let’s say getting a lot of hits at your newly created website. From being appreciated by a lot of people to actually being successful. From coming from affluent background to being a free spirit, these people despise it all. They do it not because they hate these things but because they can’t have them (deep inside they keep wishing they’d have it all). It’s a whole different story though, that no one’s stopping them. They’re creating that hindrance themselves since they waste their energy in thinking maliciously about you.  Instead they should make more way for themselves. But since that usually doesn’t happen, it is extremely important for us to protect ourselves from the negativity around.

Neutralize the negativity around. Restore the balance within. Try maintaining your aura around you. The more you radiate positivity, the more you make your aura stronger. Make your aura your Armor. Subdue their negativity with your ‘chi.’ Be careful whom you give your attention to. The more you give attention to a thing, the more it grows, so make sure only the things worth it get your attention. Let the positive things, the positive situations and the positive people get your attention.  Do not ever get engulfed by the negativity around since it is contagious. Just as a black hole sucks in all the light around, negativity sucks in all the positivity around. Negativity leaves you empty. Try filling that void with positivity. Surround yourself with positive people. Surround yourself with nature because to be in sync with nature does wonders to you. Extremely few people know how to live in a fascinating way. Others spend their days breathing – only breathing, not living.  Stop over thinking about all the things you cannot control. How people react, why people get envious, how people cringe, why people derive a sadistic pleasure each time you’re committing mistakes, feeling awful and are on an all time low, will never be in your hands . What will be in your hands is the power of selectivity, of inaccessibility, and of goodness. ‘Selectivity’ for selecting very carefully the thoughts you pick up. ‘Inaccessibility’ for distancing yourself from all the people who will never think good of you, and will keep cringing for who you are. ‘Goodness’ since you are not a bad person. So, you don’t have to live by the philosophy of ‘”an eye for an eye” because if you do that, there will be no difference between them and you. Be the way you are – Virtuous, wonderful and seasoned. Transform yourself from within, the outside environment will change automatically. Work hard on yourself in getting rid of all the clutter inside your brain. The clutter comprises the negative thoughts that the EV’s have implanted. Get rid of all of it and make space for the positivity of the universe to rush right in. Trust me, it will and when that happens you will live in awe for the rest of your life discovering the magic that life has to offer. The world isn’t that bad a place. It has a lot of beauty, a lot of magic but only for people who are ready to let go of the negativity and embrace the beauty and the magic. Discover yourself each day. Feel alive. Worth it.




” Stop Killing Yourself For Us “

One of those days when you’re worn out and tired of people misunderstanding you.When you’re tired and hurt of people telling you to be more patient even though you’re the one who’s been waiting all along. You’ve been waiting all this while to be your normal self. You’ve been waiting for you to have your lost appetite to be good again. You’ve been waiting for you to contribute around, in the ways you used to. You’ve been waiting for coming out of your rut. You’ve been waiting for all the moments worth cherishing, worth sharing and worth creating. You’ve just been waiting. But you finally realize that your waiting for all that you’ve been missing wasn’t worth it and so you decide to take the high road. You decide to let go of all the bitterness, of all the bottled up feelings, and all the things you’ve wanted so badly to be expressed that you want to scream.

You look at your life in hindsight and you realize that you’ve always nailed it. You’ve always fought situations with all your might and you’ve never ever given up. You realize that you were always your own hero. People got inspired for who you were. People kept you on a pedestal and you made sure you never let them down. In fact you made them extraordinary with you because a good leader doesn’t ever create more followers; a true leader creates more leaders. You cared enough to make them feel that they always have your back. You loved them enough to make sure that what they’ve invested in you – their faith, always is worthy of putting in you in the first place. More than anything else, you always took willingly that extra step to hold them just because they don’t ever fall. Yet, today you find yourself alone. Alone, standing at the edge wondering what drove you so far.

You keep on thinking and thinking and you finally sink it in. You sink it all in. You know now that the only person who drove you so far is ‘you.’ The only reason you came so far is ‘you.’ You realize that all the while when you kept waiting for the world to understand you in your crisis, the world was just waiting for you to get up on your own and rise up. All the time when you were waiting for the world to pat your back for your efforts, and appreciate you for all that you did, the world was waiting to get back to you for not doing enough. All the time when you were hoping that the world around will hold you tight and do for you exactly what you did, the world was cursing you for not being able to deal with your adversity yourself. In fact blaming you for running away each time. What the world didn’t realize was that you didn’t run from situations or from people. You never were a coward. Had you been one, you would have never taken that extra step to let people in your life at their worse and give them your best. You ran because you knew you were suffocated. You ran because you wanted to restore your normal self and make even more space in your life for the people who matter. But they never got it.

Gratitude is such a rare human quality. Isn’t it? No matter how much you make way for people, they’ll always want you to make more way for them..And the moment you need them to the do the same for you, they blame you for being ‘weak’. Blame you for expecting too much out of them. Irony is, you considered them much better, they themselves didn’t. You feel like screaming out so loud that your voice reaches out there. You want to yell, fight, argue, just burst out and vent everything out and you do. You keep doing it in expectation of people understanding the basic sentiment behind your melt down. But that doesn’t really happen since somehow the entire blame for your meltdown is also on you…And that’s when you decide to let go. Let go off the bitterness, let go of the anger, let go of all that you were expecting will help you ‘heal’ . You just shut down completely. You embrace silence. You don’t want to express anything anymore since when you tried to reach out , you were just not understood. Somewhere you hope that when you get back to your normal self, things will get better. Time heals a lot. But somehow if that doesn’t happen, and the world doesn’t stop to ponder over even once so as to why you had that meltdown, then i guess, you know it just wasn’t worth it. You learn a life lesson that you always had your heart in the right place, they didn’t.

But you take the high road and you forgive because no matter how hard you try to turn into a b***h, you can’t. That’s you. No matter how hard you try to despise everything and everyone, you’ll still be there for them. Always. That is why they are ‘they’ and you are ‘you’. Only difference will be that this time you won’t lose your ‘self’ because you know you worth. You know the fact that whatever people are thinking or not thinking like they should have; it is you to whom they turned every time because they knew you will take them.  You realize that the entire crisis you have been facing has been the biggest life lesson for you. It has taught you to love yourself even more. It has taught you that gratitude is rare and you’re happy that you possess it. It has taught you that you were never supposed to think that things are wrong with you because you didn’t create the situations. It taught you to  listen to your own voice – your innermost voice and hear it so loud and clear that all the voices outside are rendered silent.

You didn’t ever get needy. You didn’t ever turn insensitive. More than anything else, you didn’t ever turn your back on people who matter. You acted like a sponge happily since you cared enough. You still do.You might have been blunt but never unfair. You might have made yourself distant but never abandoned people. You might have lost your temper but never your humanity.

Today a friend of mine told me, “Stop killing yourself  for us.” Guess that is what the gist of all of this is.